Thursday, 6 October 2016
Friday, 9 September 2016
Kisah elevator
Assalamualaikum...
Alhamdulillah masih wujud blog ni. Entah kenapa saya terdetik untuk bukak blog (mungkin sebab laptop akhirnya dapat di-On setelah sekian lama). Bila terbaca post2 lama, terdetik pula rasa nak menulis. Zaman blog-memblog semakin lama semakin dilupakan tapi ada untungnya mereka yang setia menulis. In the future, dapat rewind balik ke tahun-tahun sebelum ini and relive the moment. Itu salah satu gunanya blog, semacam online journal (at least to me it is). Bukan menulis untuk dunia membaca, tapi untuk diri sendiri.
Oleh itu, saya nak relive moment semalam dan hari ini yang saya rasa terhibur bila diingat kembali. I've wrote this on Twitter tapi terlalu pendek untuk menceritakan the whole story. Sejak beberapa minggu lepas, kami selalu keluar untuk menguruskan hal-hal adik yang nak fly ke Manchester. So, ke shopping mall, ke bangunan Mara, ke Putrajaya, dan macam-macam tempat lagi. Dan persamaan tempat2 yang dituju ni adalah semua bangunan2 tinggi dan mempunyai elevator.
Sejak kami kecil, memang kegemaran sangat menekan butang elevator ni. Sampai berebut-rebut, terkejar-kejar nak menjadi orang pertama menekan butang elevator. And because of that, mommy and daddy dah xperlu tekan butang elevator. That goes on for years. Sampailah satu-satu anak meningkat dewasa and masing-masing meninggalkan sarang.
Ok, back to the moments I was talking about. The first moment was yesterday (actually this moment has occured numerous times before but I've forgotten about them) when mommy and I went to PKNS Shah Alam. Kami bertiga (including Adam) berjalan dan bershopping la sementara menunggu baba habis meeting di bangunan berdekatan. Then, masuk waktu Asar. Kami pun menuju ke elevator untuk naik ke surau. We went in once the elevator doors open. We waited and then the elevator doors open again. Tapi saye perasan, kenapa kami masih di tingkat yang sama? And this sudden realization came to me that both of us didn't push the button. I said to my mom, "Maaaa, mama xtekan button tu." And my mom said, "Kan kakteh yang slalu tekan." But I was on the left side of the elevator and the buttons are on the right side where my mom was standing. Plus, I was with my son's pushchair in front of me, agak susah la nak ke kiri and tekan butang tu. So automatically it's my mom's 'responsibility' to push the button. There was a guy who went into the elevator, and he laughed listening to our conversation (bygkan me and Adam on the left side, mommy on the right side and he was right in the middle). He heard our whole conversation about not pushing the button. It was so embarrassing we both (me and mommy) ended up laughing our heads off.
Now, the second moment. That happened just a few hours ago when we went to Mara. Selepas urusan Achik dh selesai di Mara, kami ke Mara Digital untuk cari a few things. After enough shopping for one day, we headed for the elevator. We (me, mommy, daddy, Achik and Adam) were actually talking about something so nobody really paid any attention to the elevator. We kept on talking and talking. It was when my legs started to feel tired that I wondered what's taking the elevator so long. So I looked at the buttons (up/down) and neither of them lit up. Meaning nobody pushed the button. So I said to them, "Kita nak turun cmne butang pon xtekan". Everybody assumed Achik would push the button because well, she's the youngest. But we forgot that she also is an adult now. Oleh itu, tanggungjawab menekan butang elevator automatically jatuh ke Adam. Ahahahaha...
These moments sounded funnier in my head. I guess I'm not a good storyteller. Huhu...nevermind.
P.s: Can't wait to see my baby daddy tomorrow. Sila balik cepat, Adam dah rindu (ehem). TQ
Alhamdulillah masih wujud blog ni. Entah kenapa saya terdetik untuk bukak blog (mungkin sebab laptop akhirnya dapat di-On setelah sekian lama). Bila terbaca post2 lama, terdetik pula rasa nak menulis. Zaman blog-memblog semakin lama semakin dilupakan tapi ada untungnya mereka yang setia menulis. In the future, dapat rewind balik ke tahun-tahun sebelum ini and relive the moment. Itu salah satu gunanya blog, semacam online journal (at least to me it is). Bukan menulis untuk dunia membaca, tapi untuk diri sendiri.
Oleh itu, saya nak relive moment semalam dan hari ini yang saya rasa terhibur bila diingat kembali. I've wrote this on Twitter tapi terlalu pendek untuk menceritakan the whole story. Sejak beberapa minggu lepas, kami selalu keluar untuk menguruskan hal-hal adik yang nak fly ke Manchester. So, ke shopping mall, ke bangunan Mara, ke Putrajaya, dan macam-macam tempat lagi. Dan persamaan tempat2 yang dituju ni adalah semua bangunan2 tinggi dan mempunyai elevator.
Sejak kami kecil, memang kegemaran sangat menekan butang elevator ni. Sampai berebut-rebut, terkejar-kejar nak menjadi orang pertama menekan butang elevator. And because of that, mommy and daddy dah xperlu tekan butang elevator. That goes on for years. Sampailah satu-satu anak meningkat dewasa and masing-masing meninggalkan sarang.
Ok, back to the moments I was talking about. The first moment was yesterday (actually this moment has occured numerous times before but I've forgotten about them) when mommy and I went to PKNS Shah Alam. Kami bertiga (including Adam) berjalan dan bershopping la sementara menunggu baba habis meeting di bangunan berdekatan. Then, masuk waktu Asar. Kami pun menuju ke elevator untuk naik ke surau. We went in once the elevator doors open. We waited and then the elevator doors open again. Tapi saye perasan, kenapa kami masih di tingkat yang sama? And this sudden realization came to me that both of us didn't push the button. I said to my mom, "Maaaa, mama xtekan button tu." And my mom said, "Kan kakteh yang slalu tekan." But I was on the left side of the elevator and the buttons are on the right side where my mom was standing. Plus, I was with my son's pushchair in front of me, agak susah la nak ke kiri and tekan butang tu. So automatically it's my mom's 'responsibility' to push the button. There was a guy who went into the elevator, and he laughed listening to our conversation (bygkan me and Adam on the left side, mommy on the right side and he was right in the middle). He heard our whole conversation about not pushing the button. It was so embarrassing we both (me and mommy) ended up laughing our heads off.
Now, the second moment. That happened just a few hours ago when we went to Mara. Selepas urusan Achik dh selesai di Mara, kami ke Mara Digital untuk cari a few things. After enough shopping for one day, we headed for the elevator. We (me, mommy, daddy, Achik and Adam) were actually talking about something so nobody really paid any attention to the elevator. We kept on talking and talking. It was when my legs started to feel tired that I wondered what's taking the elevator so long. So I looked at the buttons (up/down) and neither of them lit up. Meaning nobody pushed the button. So I said to them, "Kita nak turun cmne butang pon xtekan". Everybody assumed Achik would push the button because well, she's the youngest. But we forgot that she also is an adult now. Oleh itu, tanggungjawab menekan butang elevator automatically jatuh ke Adam. Ahahahaha...
These moments sounded funnier in my head. I guess I'm not a good storyteller. Huhu...nevermind.
P.s: Can't wait to see my baby daddy tomorrow. Sila balik cepat, Adam dah rindu (ehem). TQ
Saturday, 21 February 2015
Pengalaman Melahirkan Muhammad Adam.
Bismillah,
Assamualaikum dear blog.
It's been a year. How time flies.
Now I'm one year older and hopefully wiser. Haha
And now I'm a happy mother of one. ^-^
Ok, back to my main purpose of writing this entry. I want to write my experience giving birth to a healthy little boy before I forget. Because as we all know, I forget pretty easily. Meh.
Pagi Jumaat, around 8 o'clock (35++ weeks)
Waktu tu saye sedang tidur di katil. Yeah, I know...I shudn't be sleeping but it was rather boring, not knowing what to do. Bangun pon sakit, jalan pon sakit, duduk pon sakit. I believe I had this thing called symphisis pubic dysfunction (SPD). Sepanjang mengandung memang asyek sakit di pubic area especially time miring kanan kiri mase baring, mase nak bangun dr tidur, dan waktu2 lain. Sakitnye mencucuk-cucuk. Kadang-kadang tu terjerit la jugak kalau sakitnye datang. Tapi alhamdulillah sakitnye xberlanjutan. Hanya sesaat. Ok, back to the story. Waktu tu tgh tidur separa lena, tibe2 rase macam terkencing dalam suar. Ahahaha...sangat amat xsenonoh di situ tapi memang itu yg terjadi. Perasaan nak buang air tu xde plak terase, tup tup sejenis cecair nak mengalir kuar. Nasib baiklah tandas sangat dekat dengan katil. Sepantas kilat saye lari ke toilet and do my thing. kemudian saye kembali la ke katil untuk menyambung tidur. Then, again, it happened. Terase cecair mengalir keluar tanpe perasaan nak buang air kecil. Disebabkan rase cm musykil jadi saye check cecair ape yang keluar. Rupenye2 cecair tu agak berlendir dan bercampur darah. Haaaaaaa...jeng jeng jeng, air ketuban dah pecah. Tanpe mempanikkan diri, saye cari mama and told her what happened.
Yang bagusnye since baby belum cukup bulan, saye belum abes pack barang2 utk dibawak ke hospital. Barang baby dh siap la. Barang ibunye yg belum. Ahaha...Kelam kabut la Asyiqin mengemas segale yg diperlukan masuk dalam bag. Bile dh abes kemas tu rs cm nak pulang kampung seminggu. Banyak betul barang tp apekan daye, mase xcukup dh nak kisahkan tentang perkare xbrpe penting tu. Selame dr pecah ketuban mmg xde rase sakit. Plan asalnye is nak lahirkan baby kat DEMC. Patutnye that weekend nak pegi jumpe doktor, tgk sape yg sesuai nak dijadikan my O&G. Tapi apekan daye, baby sudah mahu keluar. Plus due hari sebelumnye baruuuuu je buat appointment dgn doktor HSB sebab kne rujuk dr klinik kesihatan atas sebab baby ade potensi jd macrosomia. Dgn dr HSB pon xsempat jumpe sebab appointment 24hb Feb. So akhirnye ke hospital kerajaan yg terdekat je la kitorg pegi. Which is Hospital Sg Buloh.
Around 9 o'clock
Dengan xsempat breakfast, xbawak air, xbawak snacks, terus memecut ke HSB. Ade sesekali rase cm lenguh kat pinggang but xde rs sakit. Sampai2 hospital saye terus pegi daftar, but xramai sangat org time tu. Dulu bace2 blog org katenye slalu penuh la, crowded la. Hmmmm....after daftar nurse suruh masuk bawak kain batik sehelai untuk diCTG. Time pasang CTG tu nurse cakap denyut jantung baby cm lemah sikit, disuruh sy goyang2 kaki kesana kesini. Macam tgh berenang atas katil la plak. Ahahaha
After a while, datang la sorg houseman nak check pembukaan. Mase tu dah kul 10 pagi gak la. Pembukaan 2 cm. Doktor tanye xde rase sakit ke sebab time die check graf contraction tu sbnrnye dh kuat and kerap. Saye just cakap sy lenguh kat belakang. That's it. Mmg xrase lg sakitnye tu. Abes CTG tu, saye pon disuruh scan, nak tgk air ketuban still byk x, songsang atau x, etc. After that, saye duduk la kat kerusi2 yg disediakan kat tengah2 ward tu bersame beberape org ibu-ibu mengandung yg lain. Semuanya nampak cm tue. Ahahahaa dorg pon kalau bersembang, sesame sendiri je. I was left out of the conversations. Saya just observe and berkira2 agaknya sampai bila nak kena duduk di kerusi tu. Sambil mata melilau tgk keadaan di ward bersalin tu. Kadang2 terdengar bunyi sorg patient ni terjerit2 kesakitan. Macam dh nak terberanak tapi xpon sebab saya dgr nurse cakap belum masa and dorg suruh miring ke kiri. Lagipon dia di bilik latent which means bukaan dia belum masuk 4cm. Kalau first pregnancy, kira long way to go la. Hehe
So there I was, in the common area...tgk akak dpn saya ni bawak sebungkus plastik penuh roti milo dan sebagainya. And I was, alamak lapar la pulak. Dahaga pon ada tp xbawak pape. Berkira2 agaknya boleh keluar ke tidak ye? Tp saya keluar jugak cari mama sbb lapau. Haha nasib baik dkt waiting area tu ade vending machine. Beli la setin air Milo. Nak kasi bertenaga la konon.
Dh abes minum saya masuk balik, duduk balik kat kerusi tu tunggu masa. Terlupa nak bawak phone (rsnya xboleh bawak kot ntah la). Mase contraction pon macam xdpt nak track. Tgk jam tp malas nak kira. Masa tgh hari macam tu, rasa la jugak sakit contraction tu dah agak kuat. Kalau nak describe saya dh xingat. Yang saya tahu, setiap contraction tu sampai tangan saya genggam terketar2 menahan sakit. Tp mungkin sebab sy baru rasa sakit, dan ni first time nk bersalin, I was expecting lama lg la nk fully dilated. So segala kesakitan contraction tu saya macam anticipate akan rasa jauh lebih sakit in a few hours.
Orang kata kalau nak cepat bersalin kena berjalan2 kan. Tp mase kat situ sy xbanyak berjalan pon. Saya just duduk baca la segala doa yang saya tahu. Constantly mintak kat Allah dipermudahkan segala proses. Tiba2 rasa macam nak buang air besau pulak. Saya pon pegi je la masuk ke toilet tanpa pengetahuan sape2. Sy xinform nurse ke apa ke yg saya nak pegi toilet nak buang air. Sebab xexpect nak beranak kan. Ye la baru berapa jam. Last check pun baru bukaan 2cm.
Tapi mmg xbuang air pon. Keluar dari toilet tu, terus rasa cm nak meneran. Saya stop betul2 dpn toilet tu and tangan pegang kaunter. Menahan sakit contractions. Pastu kebetulan ade sorg nurse dia tanya, ok x? Saya pon cakap la sy rasa nak buang air. Pastu dia start kelam kabut, suruh saya pergi bilik sebelah yg ada ada doktor untuk check dalam. Bila dah pegi, dah check dalam. Haaa dah crowning! Punya la relax Asyiqin nak buang air kat toilet padahal kepala baby dh nak kuar. Haha
Pastu doktor pon tolak ke labour room, saya mmg dh xtahan dah rasa nak meneran je. And since it was my first time and sangat la inexperienced. Meneran macam xcukup nafas. Meneran secara x efektif. They kept on trying to widen the birth canal. Sakit ok.
Selama saya jadi student praktikal kat hospital di Jakarta, bidan sana ajar kalau nak buat episiotomy, tunggu time dorg tgh contraction. So that it doesn't hurt as much. Tapi masa saya, dorg potong masa saya bukan tgh contraction. So I can feel them cutting my muscles! Sakit okaayyyy!!!! Hang ingat main potong2 playdoh ka apa?
Not long after that, lahirlah baby boy berat 2.9kg masa orang nak pegi solat Jumaat. Jam 1.32pm 20 February 2015. My husband xsempat nak sambut. He was not even in the same state. Mmg xkan sempat pon kalau kuar baby 1st pon secepat ni. Cmne la agaknya baby next2 nanti.
Ok, that's all for now. Till next time. Hehe
Assamualaikum dear blog.
It's been a year. How time flies.
Now I'm one year older and hopefully wiser. Haha
And now I'm a happy mother of one. ^-^
Ok, back to my main purpose of writing this entry. I want to write my experience giving birth to a healthy little boy before I forget. Because as we all know, I forget pretty easily. Meh.
Pagi Jumaat, around 8 o'clock (35++ weeks)
Waktu tu saye sedang tidur di katil. Yeah, I know...I shudn't be sleeping but it was rather boring, not knowing what to do. Bangun pon sakit, jalan pon sakit, duduk pon sakit. I believe I had this thing called symphisis pubic dysfunction (SPD). Sepanjang mengandung memang asyek sakit di pubic area especially time miring kanan kiri mase baring, mase nak bangun dr tidur, dan waktu2 lain. Sakitnye mencucuk-cucuk. Kadang-kadang tu terjerit la jugak kalau sakitnye datang. Tapi alhamdulillah sakitnye xberlanjutan. Hanya sesaat. Ok, back to the story. Waktu tu tgh tidur separa lena, tibe2 rase macam terkencing dalam suar. Ahahaha...sangat amat xsenonoh di situ tapi memang itu yg terjadi. Perasaan nak buang air tu xde plak terase, tup tup sejenis cecair nak mengalir kuar. Nasib baiklah tandas sangat dekat dengan katil. Sepantas kilat saye lari ke toilet and do my thing. kemudian saye kembali la ke katil untuk menyambung tidur. Then, again, it happened. Terase cecair mengalir keluar tanpe perasaan nak buang air kecil. Disebabkan rase cm musykil jadi saye check cecair ape yang keluar. Rupenye2 cecair tu agak berlendir dan bercampur darah. Haaaaaaa...jeng jeng jeng, air ketuban dah pecah. Tanpe mempanikkan diri, saye cari mama and told her what happened.
Yang bagusnye since baby belum cukup bulan, saye belum abes pack barang2 utk dibawak ke hospital. Barang baby dh siap la. Barang ibunye yg belum. Ahaha...Kelam kabut la Asyiqin mengemas segale yg diperlukan masuk dalam bag. Bile dh abes kemas tu rs cm nak pulang kampung seminggu. Banyak betul barang tp apekan daye, mase xcukup dh nak kisahkan tentang perkare xbrpe penting tu. Selame dr pecah ketuban mmg xde rase sakit. Plan asalnye is nak lahirkan baby kat DEMC. Patutnye that weekend nak pegi jumpe doktor, tgk sape yg sesuai nak dijadikan my O&G. Tapi apekan daye, baby sudah mahu keluar. Plus due hari sebelumnye baruuuuu je buat appointment dgn doktor HSB sebab kne rujuk dr klinik kesihatan atas sebab baby ade potensi jd macrosomia. Dgn dr HSB pon xsempat jumpe sebab appointment 24hb Feb. So akhirnye ke hospital kerajaan yg terdekat je la kitorg pegi. Which is Hospital Sg Buloh.
Around 9 o'clock
Dengan xsempat breakfast, xbawak air, xbawak snacks, terus memecut ke HSB. Ade sesekali rase cm lenguh kat pinggang but xde rs sakit. Sampai2 hospital saye terus pegi daftar, but xramai sangat org time tu. Dulu bace2 blog org katenye slalu penuh la, crowded la. Hmmmm....after daftar nurse suruh masuk bawak kain batik sehelai untuk diCTG. Time pasang CTG tu nurse cakap denyut jantung baby cm lemah sikit, disuruh sy goyang2 kaki kesana kesini. Macam tgh berenang atas katil la plak. Ahahaha
After a while, datang la sorg houseman nak check pembukaan. Mase tu dah kul 10 pagi gak la. Pembukaan 2 cm. Doktor tanye xde rase sakit ke sebab time die check graf contraction tu sbnrnye dh kuat and kerap. Saye just cakap sy lenguh kat belakang. That's it. Mmg xrase lg sakitnye tu. Abes CTG tu, saye pon disuruh scan, nak tgk air ketuban still byk x, songsang atau x, etc. After that, saye duduk la kat kerusi2 yg disediakan kat tengah2 ward tu bersame beberape org ibu-ibu mengandung yg lain. Semuanya nampak cm tue. Ahahahaa dorg pon kalau bersembang, sesame sendiri je. I was left out of the conversations. Saya just observe and berkira2 agaknya sampai bila nak kena duduk di kerusi tu. Sambil mata melilau tgk keadaan di ward bersalin tu. Kadang2 terdengar bunyi sorg patient ni terjerit2 kesakitan. Macam dh nak terberanak tapi xpon sebab saya dgr nurse cakap belum masa and dorg suruh miring ke kiri. Lagipon dia di bilik latent which means bukaan dia belum masuk 4cm. Kalau first pregnancy, kira long way to go la. Hehe
So there I was, in the common area...tgk akak dpn saya ni bawak sebungkus plastik penuh roti milo dan sebagainya. And I was, alamak lapar la pulak. Dahaga pon ada tp xbawak pape. Berkira2 agaknya boleh keluar ke tidak ye? Tp saya keluar jugak cari mama sbb lapau. Haha nasib baik dkt waiting area tu ade vending machine. Beli la setin air Milo. Nak kasi bertenaga la konon.
Dh abes minum saya masuk balik, duduk balik kat kerusi tu tunggu masa. Terlupa nak bawak phone (rsnya xboleh bawak kot ntah la). Mase contraction pon macam xdpt nak track. Tgk jam tp malas nak kira. Masa tgh hari macam tu, rasa la jugak sakit contraction tu dah agak kuat. Kalau nak describe saya dh xingat. Yang saya tahu, setiap contraction tu sampai tangan saya genggam terketar2 menahan sakit. Tp mungkin sebab sy baru rasa sakit, dan ni first time nk bersalin, I was expecting lama lg la nk fully dilated. So segala kesakitan contraction tu saya macam anticipate akan rasa jauh lebih sakit in a few hours.
Orang kata kalau nak cepat bersalin kena berjalan2 kan. Tp mase kat situ sy xbanyak berjalan pon. Saya just duduk baca la segala doa yang saya tahu. Constantly mintak kat Allah dipermudahkan segala proses. Tiba2 rasa macam nak buang air besau pulak. Saya pon pegi je la masuk ke toilet tanpa pengetahuan sape2. Sy xinform nurse ke apa ke yg saya nak pegi toilet nak buang air. Sebab xexpect nak beranak kan. Ye la baru berapa jam. Last check pun baru bukaan 2cm.
Tapi mmg xbuang air pon. Keluar dari toilet tu, terus rasa cm nak meneran. Saya stop betul2 dpn toilet tu and tangan pegang kaunter. Menahan sakit contractions. Pastu kebetulan ade sorg nurse dia tanya, ok x? Saya pon cakap la sy rasa nak buang air. Pastu dia start kelam kabut, suruh saya pergi bilik sebelah yg ada ada doktor untuk check dalam. Bila dah pegi, dah check dalam. Haaa dah crowning! Punya la relax Asyiqin nak buang air kat toilet padahal kepala baby dh nak kuar. Haha
Pastu doktor pon tolak ke labour room, saya mmg dh xtahan dah rasa nak meneran je. And since it was my first time and sangat la inexperienced. Meneran macam xcukup nafas. Meneran secara x efektif. They kept on trying to widen the birth canal. Sakit ok.
Selama saya jadi student praktikal kat hospital di Jakarta, bidan sana ajar kalau nak buat episiotomy, tunggu time dorg tgh contraction. So that it doesn't hurt as much. Tapi masa saya, dorg potong masa saya bukan tgh contraction. So I can feel them cutting my muscles! Sakit okaayyyy!!!! Hang ingat main potong2 playdoh ka apa?
Not long after that, lahirlah baby boy berat 2.9kg masa orang nak pegi solat Jumaat. Jam 1.32pm 20 February 2015. My husband xsempat nak sambut. He was not even in the same state. Mmg xkan sempat pon kalau kuar baby 1st pon secepat ni. Cmne la agaknya baby next2 nanti.
Ok, that's all for now. Till next time. Hehe
Saturday, 17 May 2014
Tidak faham.
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum...
Xfaham kenape segale bende buat saye marah kebelakangan ni. Sikit-sikit marah, sikit-sikit geram. I've never been like this before. At least not longer than a day. I kind of want to slap something in its face if it had one. Mane agaknye datang segale amarah dalam diri ni? Everything pon rase cm mencabar kesabaran. Ah women and hormones. Why do I have to succumb to you hormones? I'm better than you. Hah! Istighfar Asyiqin istighfar. Okay, I should keep quiet today. Don't start a conversation. Just be present but not involved. Okay, good plan. Hehehe
Ade exam arini. But I don't have the slightest mood to get out of my room today. I'm not even excited to go to Jogja anymore. *mentally sleeping in*
Assalamualaikum...
Xfaham kenape segale bende buat saye marah kebelakangan ni. Sikit-sikit marah, sikit-sikit geram. I've never been like this before. At least not longer than a day. I kind of want to slap something in its face if it had one. Mane agaknye datang segale amarah dalam diri ni? Everything pon rase cm mencabar kesabaran. Ah women and hormones. Why do I have to succumb to you hormones? I'm better than you. Hah! Istighfar Asyiqin istighfar. Okay, I should keep quiet today. Don't start a conversation. Just be present but not involved. Okay, good plan. Hehehe
Ade exam arini. But I don't have the slightest mood to get out of my room today. I'm not even excited to go to Jogja anymore. *mentally sleeping in*
Tuesday, 6 May 2014
This is for you, Alma.
Assalamualaikum....
Post ini khas untuk Alma Farhana. Die yang suh saye update blog. So here...
Hai Almaaaaaaaaaaa~
It's not that I don't have anything to write about. It's just that I don't feel like posting them. I wrote a lot of things actually. But they are not for people to read, that's all. And I have two blogs. I wrote on my other blog as well. So all in all, I haven't actually stopped writing.
Oh by the way, I have a long-term project! Hopefully this goes according to plan. Woohoo...
*stilltakpuashatidengantheamazingspiderman2*
*barusedartahun2013takpostpape*
Ok bye Alma. Alma busuk. =P
Post ini khas untuk Alma Farhana. Die yang suh saye update blog. So here...
Hai Almaaaaaaaaaaa~
It's not that I don't have anything to write about. It's just that I don't feel like posting them. I wrote a lot of things actually. But they are not for people to read, that's all. And I have two blogs. I wrote on my other blog as well. So all in all, I haven't actually stopped writing.
Oh by the way, I have a long-term project! Hopefully this goes according to plan. Woohoo...
*stilltakpuashatidengantheamazingspiderman2*
*barusedartahun2013takpostpape*
Ok bye Alma. Alma busuk. =P
Sunday, 3 February 2013
Our tale. ❤️
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum...
Saye sebenarnya sudah berkurun lamanya berniat untuk menulis tentang hari bahagia saya tp entah mengapa memori indah tersebut hanya ingin bermain di fikiran setiap hari setiap saat. Belum rela dilepaskan dari diri untuk dikongsi bersama. I don't mean anything insulting by this. I just want to absorb everything in. I know I have to write this down eventually. I know this very well. I know I'm not good at remembering things. Oh I pray to Allah let me hold on to these forever. Very important days of your life, you should remember it by heart right? Oh I wish I had that ability. Sometimes I forget other people's names after less than 10 minutes. So, I've decided to put this on writing (virtually).
This is how our story goes...
Out first meeting (couldn't remember the exact date)
If I'm not mistaken, it was the first semester of our medic course. Our first year. The topics we were studying were a lot and very exhausting. It was about the process of life. Everything. From zygote to gendered baby. Some of us joined group discussions in order to understand about this process of life at a much shorter time. Then, one day...I asked one of the group members where she was going (she was heading to her group discussion). She suggested that I join it. So, me and this one other girl...bravely joined this friend of mine to her group discussion. They welcomed me. That was my very first group discussion btw. I've always been a lone ranger. Wuwuu...
He was there.
Each of us was assigned to study of a specific topic and expected to present it the next day.
*the next day*
It was my turn to explain everything that I've learned the day before. I was nervous (of course!). I'm so worried if I were to give out wrong information, if I were to mistook what I read the day before. I was worried if I were the cause to my friends' failure (belum exam pon lg but my thoughts went THAT far already). I don't know if I could handle that much responsibility. But I went on anyway. I dont know if I remember this right but while I was presenting my topic, someone paused me. He stopped me from continuing. Maybe he didn't understand something from what I've explained. What I'm very sure is... at the end, I asked this to him. "Kau xsuke aku ke?". I was very sure he was angry about something because he yelled this to me... "Ko nak explain ke x?". I was in my argue mode but since there were too many witnesses, I pulled away. I continued with my explanation.
That was our first meeting. Our first conversation actually. Very weird right? Not really movie-ish. Tak romantik langsung!! Ahahah...
How it began (29th January 2010)
It was nearing exam week. Everybody's busy doing revisions, answering past years exam papers. At that time, Yahoo! Messenger was still the 'in' thing. Most of us were still using YM to communicate with other people in the virtual world.
Suddenly I got this friend request (friend request kah? ntah la. add2 la pastinye) from him. I took a few minutes thinking. Because I wasn't sure what were his motives. I was still thinking that he had some problems with me since our first conversation. I accepted his friend request anyway. He immediately IM-ed me. Asking about some cells. Pathologic ones. I answered those questions for him.
The Proposal (18th May 2010)
A few months (5 months) after that, he proposed (through YM). It was a shock to me. Seriously. I'm not even kidding. Not even a bit. I wasn't expecting it at all. That came out of nowhere. He suddenly proposed. I was already thought of him as 'just a friend'. The one who doesn't talk to you in real life. Plus, I thought he was liking somebody else. That had always been in my mind, that he was not looking for more than just a virtual buddy to talk to. After much shock, I told him to wait 3 YEARS to even talk about marriage (I think I was avoiding the situation). I was aiming to get married at the age of 25, that proposal caught me off guard. I wasn't even 20 years old at the time.
And not long after the proposal (a few minutes), my father called. As if he knew his daughter was in need of help. I immediately told my father about the proposal. I don't know how my father felt at the time, but I think he was shocked. Words didn't flow out of his mouth so swiftly as always. Baba suruh solat istikarah and ask for His guidance. I prayed, I asked for His guidance every day. And finally I was sure. I was calm, no more shock.
He asked again and I said yes. ^-^
'Officially' Fiancé Fiancée (31st December 2011)
After much hardship, obstacles, drawbacks, hindrance...exactly 1 year, 7 months and 13 days, we officially got engaged. In a so-so kenduri. Mak sarungkan cincin ke jari2 manis kanan dan kiri. And I remember she said, "halusnya tangaaann~". Ahahaha, ye mak...sangat halus. Cam zombie punye jari. =.=" That was my first time pakai make-up. I was very uncomfortable on that day. But in spite all, I was happy we were one step closer. 1 step closer to the real thing.
Di sinilah titik bermulanya ujian. Terutamanya bile sudah bergelar tunangan. Memang tidak mengubah apa2 realiti tp di situlah terletaknya ujian sebenar. Susah teramatlah susah. Sangat bersyukur ada yang masih sayang dengan diri kami yang hina ini, saban kali mengingatkan di hati. Peringatan demi peringatan, tanpa putus. Always reminding ourselves, we have boundaries. Thank you Allah. =)
The Real Thing! Nikah day~ (29th December 2012)
*after exactly 2 years, 11 months*
I don't even know how to describe my feelings. Berdebau? Mungkin. Nervous? Mungkin. Segan? Mungkin. Risau? Mungkin juge. Xsabau? Sangat mungkin. Ahaha....Saye sendiri tidak dapat memahami perasaan waktu itu. Mungkin hanya keadaan yang dapat menjelaskan. Tidak dapat diluahkan dengan kate2.
Yang menyalam tok kadi di tgh surau, Encik Muhammad Hasif sah menjadi suami dengan dua lafaz, alhamdulillah~ Sangat lancar sekali! Mesti die practice berkali2 tu. Hikhikhik...sangat comel plak bile dikenangkan. XD Dan dengan itu, Cik Nur Asyiqin bertukar menjadi Power Ranger warne pink. Ahahaha, bukan2...jd Puan Nur Asyiqin~ Puan puan puan puan puan puan puan.....still xbiase dengar. =.="
Alhamdulillah majlis berjalan lancar walau hujan rintik sedikit (it was raining very heavily the day before, we feared for the flood). A lot of my friends came. Sangat terharu bile kawan2 sekolah rendah/menengah yang tinggal di Penang susah payah datang jauh2 untuk ke walimah kami. Rasa macam nak nangis di situ, but make-up tebal takut rosak lebih teruk pule nnti. huhu...
I think I am the most unconventional bride dalam history bangsa Melayu. I changed into my Skechers shoes while the walimah is still going on. My 4-inch platforms, I tossed them away! ahahaha...Sangat tidak senunuh di situ, but I wouldn't seksa my feet for beauty. Huhuu...
The Puan
Oh2, peristiwa yang agak mengejutkan buat kami berdua berlaku sewaktu kami dalam perjalanan keluar dari kapal terbang setelah mendarat di Jakarta, Indonesia. One of the air hosts called me Puan! How did he know? Hmmmm...Maybe he was all too familiar with passengers of the aircraft. Dh bermacam ragam die jumpe, kan? Die dh bulih bace gerak geri org agaknya.
Sudah selamat berlalu lebih dari 1 bulan kehidupan kami sebagai suami isteri. I am very blessed to have such helpful husband, very loving, ultimately funny, imperfectly perfect for me, and super duper adorable. All in all, I'm a very happy wife. Still trying to better herself. I'm grateful to have found a wonderful husband to be my guide to our final destination, His jannah. Alhamdulillah for this blessing, alhamdulillah for Your guides, alhamdulillah for everything. I believe that His plans are the best for He is the best of planners.
Kawan2, doakan yang terbaik untuk kami... ^-^
Dear, I love you so much~
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Benang yang nak dekat putus.
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum~
Lately entah kenape hati ni rase sangat gundah gulane. Terlebih sensitif. Overtalkative. Super obsessive. Under-productive. Eeee, kadang2 rs cm nak tumbuk diri sendiri. Hentak kat meja, pukul kepale. Tampar pipi, ketap gigi, kayu sugi. Ok mengarut. Pokoknye rase cm nak marah diri sendiri. Rase cm iman dh jatuh smpi lubang cacing susah nak jumpe. Rase cm "patutkah berfikiran cmtu?". Rase berdosa, rase bersalah, rase xpatut.
Knpe minda ni berlegar2 berfikiran bnde same? Tup tup ke situ jugak die pergi. Dh usaha lupekan, tp timbul balik fikiran cmtu. Susah, memang sangat susah. Xbulih dinafikan. Xbulih disangkal, xmampu menyangkal. Kalau bulih fikiran cmtu dipisahkan dari diri, sy rela. Pisahkanlah. Jauhkanlah. Hilangkanlah. Shu shu shuuuu, I beg you.
Kadang-kadang rase nak duduk di dunia sendiri. Jauh dari manusia. Jauh dari semua. I guess it'll be very lonely. But it's necessary. Dalam usaha nak membleach semua tinta2 hitam dari kanvas ni, tindakan itu perlu. Tapi sadly, it's impossible. I cannot create a world. I live in a world filled with people. The problem is not even them, it's me. I should get away from myself. Is that even possible? I'm no Wanderer (The Host reference). I can't separate my soul from my body. Maybe not soul, maybe just my brain. The place where I produce thoughts. Can I get it out of my skull? No, I obviously cant. Or shud I say, I won't. I dont think I'll live without a brain. I'm grateful for my brain. I just want to get rid of the thoughts. The unwanted thoughts. Bisikan-bisikan syaitan! Shuh shuh!! Shuuuhhh!!
I've always been a very private person. I don't really share much with people. Let it be possessions or feelings. Sedih sendiri, marah sendiri, suke sendiri (ok ni tipu), keciwe sendiri. Bile dh rase down, xleh nak share dgn org...rase lebih down. Bile rase seronok, xbulih nak share ngan org...pon rs down jugak. It's all in my mind. I overthink stuff. I overthink EVERYTHING! It's exhausting, it's tiring, it's destructive. Yes, I'm self-destructing. I'm a ticking bomb. Waiting to explode. But somehow, it never does. I have the One to thank for that. Self-motivating. Self-reassuring. Self-pat on the shoulder. All that is His doing and I'm grateful for it. Bersyukur akal ni masih intact. Bersyukur dengan gejolak emosi ni pon, hati ni tetap kuat nak bertahan. Memang betul, janji Dia. Dia xkan uji melebihi kemampuan hamba-Nya. Saye percaye.
IT'S RAINING!!! I love rain so much~ -3.09am-
Dengan kondisi dalam 'bubble' ni pon, saye masih selamat. Belum ada jarum-jarum yang menusuk, belum ada duri-duri yang mencucuk, belum ada tangan-tangan melampaui batas nak memecahkan bubble ni. Masih selamat terbang di udara, lihat dunia, mengejar syurga. Alhamdulillah~
Sorry la Asyiqin, saye mengarut di pagi hari. (ckp ngan diri sendiri). Marilah kite lihat keindahan alam, tenangkan diri. Ingat mati.
Assalamualaikum~
Lately entah kenape hati ni rase sangat gundah gulane. Terlebih sensitif. Overtalkative. Super obsessive. Under-productive. Eeee, kadang2 rs cm nak tumbuk diri sendiri. Hentak kat meja, pukul kepale. Tampar pipi, ketap gigi, kayu sugi. Ok mengarut. Pokoknye rase cm nak marah diri sendiri. Rase cm iman dh jatuh smpi lubang cacing susah nak jumpe. Rase cm "patutkah berfikiran cmtu?". Rase berdosa, rase bersalah, rase xpatut.
Knpe minda ni berlegar2 berfikiran bnde same? Tup tup ke situ jugak die pergi. Dh usaha lupekan, tp timbul balik fikiran cmtu. Susah, memang sangat susah. Xbulih dinafikan. Xbulih disangkal, xmampu menyangkal. Kalau bulih fikiran cmtu dipisahkan dari diri, sy rela. Pisahkanlah. Jauhkanlah. Hilangkanlah. Shu shu shuuuu, I beg you.
Kadang-kadang rase nak duduk di dunia sendiri. Jauh dari manusia. Jauh dari semua. I guess it'll be very lonely. But it's necessary. Dalam usaha nak membleach semua tinta2 hitam dari kanvas ni, tindakan itu perlu. Tapi sadly, it's impossible. I cannot create a world. I live in a world filled with people. The problem is not even them, it's me. I should get away from myself. Is that even possible? I'm no Wanderer (The Host reference). I can't separate my soul from my body. Maybe not soul, maybe just my brain. The place where I produce thoughts. Can I get it out of my skull? No, I obviously cant. Or shud I say, I won't. I dont think I'll live without a brain. I'm grateful for my brain. I just want to get rid of the thoughts. The unwanted thoughts. Bisikan-bisikan syaitan! Shuh shuh!! Shuuuhhh!!
I've always been a very private person. I don't really share much with people. Let it be possessions or feelings. Sedih sendiri, marah sendiri, suke sendiri (ok ni tipu), keciwe sendiri. Bile dh rase down, xleh nak share dgn org...rase lebih down. Bile rase seronok, xbulih nak share ngan org...pon rs down jugak. It's all in my mind. I overthink stuff. I overthink EVERYTHING! It's exhausting, it's tiring, it's destructive. Yes, I'm self-destructing. I'm a ticking bomb. Waiting to explode. But somehow, it never does. I have the One to thank for that. Self-motivating. Self-reassuring. Self-pat on the shoulder. All that is His doing and I'm grateful for it. Bersyukur akal ni masih intact. Bersyukur dengan gejolak emosi ni pon, hati ni tetap kuat nak bertahan. Memang betul, janji Dia. Dia xkan uji melebihi kemampuan hamba-Nya. Saye percaye.
IT'S RAINING!!! I love rain so much~ -3.09am-
Dengan kondisi dalam 'bubble' ni pon, saye masih selamat. Belum ada jarum-jarum yang menusuk, belum ada duri-duri yang mencucuk, belum ada tangan-tangan melampaui batas nak memecahkan bubble ni. Masih selamat terbang di udara, lihat dunia, mengejar syurga. Alhamdulillah~
Sorry la Asyiqin, saye mengarut di pagi hari. (ckp ngan diri sendiri). Marilah kite lihat keindahan alam, tenangkan diri. Ingat mati.
Tau dh upload, nak upload lg skali jugak. xkire!
Matahari yang tanpanye kite derite, dengannye juga kite sengsare. Ahaha...ok cukup with kemengarutan di pagi hari. Salam~
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
Curug Cilember 23.10.2012
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum~
*mood bercerite*
Assalamualaikum~
*mood bercerite*
Alhamdulillah dh selamat pergi dan balik ke/dari Curug Cilember smlm. *baru bangun dr pengsan* The day started a bit late since van yang kitorg tempah suddenly stuck in a massive jam. We waited for more than 2 hours. It shud've started earlier than that, 630am. But turned out we could only begin the journey at 9am. Xpe la, mungkin ade hikmah di situ. Kitorg sempat la makan2 utk breakfast. Sekadar mengisi perut and buat reservoir energy utk pendakian later.
Perjalanan ke Curug Cilember...nothing too interesting. I think everybody's tired (from lack of sleep I suppose as we had to get ready VERY early). Most of them slept throughout the journey. I, on the other hand was confused whether to sleep or not. I keep waking up from unplanned naps and dreading each and every time coz nothing to do in that tight spot of the van. Couldnt really move that much. Sore. Bored. Indecisively sleepy maybe due to the scarcity of oxygen in the vehicle. Ahaha...
Around 11am, we reached the destination. Stretching our limbs loose as we got out of the van. A group of us already started climbing. Most of us stayed behind, only to ensure everybody's on their feet. *thats a lie* I'm with the second batch. Excited at the thought of hiking and enjoying the waterfall at the end of the trail (not really the end). Determined, I hiked and hiked. Ignoring the build up of lactic acid in my muscles. I'm like that, I pushed myself over my own limit. I don't know why. I only paid attention to the ground I'm stepping on. Only tilting my head up when there's Arabians (sejuk hati dgr dorg bagi salam kat kitorg, lembut je...huhu) descending from higher grounds.
Pintu masuukk.
View from down below. Kerdilnye. Huuu...
In the beginning...the trail was ok.
Our aim was to find our other friends who started climbing earlier. They've found a spot for us. But it was not easy finding the right path (there were a few trails). There was no sign, no nothing. We had to go with our guts. And apparently our guts were wrong. We ended up climbing far more than needed. The first batch was at Curug 3. We climbed almost to the top (Curug 1)! We hiked for more than an hour! It was exhausting.
But then, we heard voices...a group of men we encountered earlier. They said we were nearing Curug 1 (I think everybody's jaw dropped to the floor at this statement). So, we followed the group of men down the slippery slopes. A few of us fell on our bottoms as we climbed down. I, amazingly...avoided falling flat on the grounds in spite of my clumsiness and frictionless shoes. Annddd....akhirnye dengar suare2 pompuan memanggil. Dh sampaiiii!! At last.
I think I was too tired....my legs started shaking frantically once I stopped walking. I couldnt stop it. Somebody told me to sit but I couldnt even bend my knees. Clearly the porridge I ate earlier didnt provide me with enough energy for the hiking. I just wanted to get in the water and I did just that. I even ignored the food. Everybody else were eating, I was playing with the crystal clear water. Engrossed in the beauty I was witnessing in front of me. The flowing water. The ever majestic fall of the water from up above. The partially hindered sunlight in between the trees. Insects on the water. The sound of animals (but it's scary when I was alone, not knowing where everybody else was...sesat sorg2 jap).
Waterfall~ At Curug 3!
I can see my hand in the water very clearlyy~
With a splash of colours.
What I see with my eyes is far more beautiful than what is captured here. MasyaAllah. ^-^
Not long after that, ade a few mat Arab ni dtg spot kitorg. Along with their tour guide (tourguidekah?). I was facing them when they sat near the waterfall. And I realized they were eyeing us. Hmmmmm....awkwarddd! Dalam hati, I was like..."Eeeee, pak Arab ni...xnmpk ke pompuan2 kat sini? Bulih plak die mandi atas tu. Siap jeling2 lg. Go awaayyy!" I changed position. But still felt uneasy. I climbed up to our bags. Away from their eagle eyes. But I still feel uneasy. A few of us tried the staring game. Stare them until they go away. But I didnt think that would work. At least not fast enough. So, I mustered every courage I had, and ask the tour guide to guide them to higher waterfalls. I was surprised at first. I was never the one to take the initiative to start a conversation with a stranger. Let alone a man. Plus...it was not really a conversation. I was basically shuuu-ing them away. (it was rude but necessary)
Alhamdulillah, after the tour guide talked to the Arabians, they left. Success! ^-^ We climbed up to the waterfall and oooooohh the water was sooo freezing cold. My teeth chattering. My hands and legs are shivering. Involuntary response to keep my body warm, I suppose. Then, I stood under the waterfall. Let the water fall on me. It was colder there than everywhere else. The sound of the water cancelling the surrounding noises, voices and even blurred my vision. It was as if I was alone. Only the sound of the water was accompanying me. It was...peaceful. Oh how peaceful I felt down there. I love it. I didnt think of anything. Separated from my mind. I couldnt even think if I wanted to.
Next, the climbing down. It was harder. Felt like the trails got more slippery. I almost fell a few times. It was a looongg way down. Again, my legs were shaking with every step I took. I was in dire need of food. Good thing climbing down didnt take much energy. Or else, my legs would turn jell-o. huhu....
Slippery slope. The trail we had to go thru from Curug 4 till Curug 1!
Nice view on the way back.
What you shud see if you're lying flat on the ground.
And the journey ends as we reached home. Alhamdulillah for a wonderful yet tiring girls day out. :)
Friday, 19 October 2012
Wow.
Bismillah...
Assalamualaikum~
Wow. It's been 3 months since the last time I posted an entry. That was the day I returned to Malaysia. And now I'm already back in Indonesia. For the last semester before entering the clinical phase! Ahhhh..scary. Yup2. Scary. Not ready. Too heavy. It's horrid. I'm worried. People say if you feel that you're not ready, then most probably you're not. Or you're just too nervous to go through a whole new environment in front of you. You can see it but you can't quite grasp it. You have a picture of it in your mind but it's still blurry. That makes it even harder, right? Not knowing what to expect. Oh well, we have to try our best and leave the rest to Allah. He'll ease our way, InsyaAllah.
I read something today. It goes like this...
"And if Allah should amplify the provision for His servants they would certainly revolt in the earth; but He sends it down according to a measure as He pleases; surely He is Aware of, Seeing, His servants."
bahasa melayunye...
"Dan jikalau Allah melapang rezeki kepada hamba-hambaNya tentulah mereka akan melampaui batas di muka bumi, tetapi Allah menurunkan apa yang dikehendaki-Nya dengan ukuran. Sesungguhnya Dia Maha Mengetahui (keadaan) hamba-hambaNya, lagi Maha Melihat." (Asy-Syuura: 27)
Ever thought of why the things we want, we seldom get them? It says here that if Allah gives everything we've ever wanted in life on this dunya, then we, as human being will want even more. It is so typical of human to forget to be grateful for all the things we have. Always wanting the things we don't. Always hungry for more of the dunya. We shud always be grateful for every single thing we have, our beliefs, our faith, all that Allah has lent to us. What we get, is what we need.
"..and it may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing while it is evil for you, and Allah knows, while you do not know." (Al-Baqarah: 216)
Allah knows what's best for us. Put that trust deep in our hearts. Allah knows best! ^-^
Assalamualaikum~
Wow. It's been 3 months since the last time I posted an entry. That was the day I returned to Malaysia. And now I'm already back in Indonesia. For the last semester before entering the clinical phase! Ahhhh..scary. Yup2. Scary. Not ready. Too heavy. It's horrid. I'm worried. People say if you feel that you're not ready, then most probably you're not. Or you're just too nervous to go through a whole new environment in front of you. You can see it but you can't quite grasp it. You have a picture of it in your mind but it's still blurry. That makes it even harder, right? Not knowing what to expect. Oh well, we have to try our best and leave the rest to Allah. He'll ease our way, InsyaAllah.
I read something today. It goes like this...
"And if Allah should amplify the provision for His servants they would certainly revolt in the earth; but He sends it down according to a measure as He pleases; surely He is Aware of, Seeing, His servants."
bahasa melayunye...
"Dan jikalau Allah melapang rezeki kepada hamba-hambaNya tentulah mereka akan melampaui batas di muka bumi, tetapi Allah menurunkan apa yang dikehendaki-Nya dengan ukuran. Sesungguhnya Dia Maha Mengetahui (keadaan) hamba-hambaNya, lagi Maha Melihat." (Asy-Syuura: 27)
Ever thought of why the things we want, we seldom get them? It says here that if Allah gives everything we've ever wanted in life on this dunya, then we, as human being will want even more. It is so typical of human to forget to be grateful for all the things we have. Always wanting the things we don't. Always hungry for more of the dunya. We shud always be grateful for every single thing we have, our beliefs, our faith, all that Allah has lent to us. What we get, is what we need.
"..and it may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing while it is evil for you, and Allah knows, while you do not know." (Al-Baqarah: 216)
Allah knows what's best for us. Put that trust deep in our hearts. Allah knows best! ^-^
Thursday, 19 July 2012
Welcome home Asyiqin!
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum...
Alhamdulillah, Asyiqin telah sampai ke tanah air setelah 6 bulan meninggalkannye. Setelah bertarung nyawa dalam airplane tu utk mendapatkan posisi tido yang selesa, tudung dan baju berkedut sini sana, akhirnya Asyiqin tiba~ Jumpeee je ngan baba, trus kne berleter sbb kurus sangat (WHAT?!! Die tipu!) And on and on about herbalife..haha.
Ok, tinggal 2 hari je la eh nak Ramadhan. Rase neves la plak I. =P Cam nak pegi masuk examination hall. Tapi betul la kan? Bulan Ramadhan kite diuji dengan kesabaran, kelaparan, kehausan, sume 'ke-fillintheblank-an' la~ Kne la persiapkan diri kite untuk hadapi ujian2 yang mungkin lebih banyak dr bulan2 lain. Same cm exam kan? Dekat2 nak exam, kite pulun bace buku, sampai xtido malam. Minum nescafe bercawan2 just to keep our eyes open. Huhuhu...good luck and selamat beramal la ye kawan2. May we make the best of the opportunity that's in front of us. ^-^
Akhir kate, saye ingin meminta maaf sekiranya ade buat salah dan silap, selamat berpuasa dan selamat beramal~
Assalamualaikum...
Alhamdulillah, Asyiqin telah sampai ke tanah air setelah 6 bulan meninggalkannye. Setelah bertarung nyawa dalam airplane tu utk mendapatkan posisi tido yang selesa, tudung dan baju berkedut sini sana, akhirnya Asyiqin tiba~ Jumpeee je ngan baba, trus kne berleter sbb kurus sangat (WHAT?!! Die tipu!) And on and on about herbalife..haha.
Ok, tinggal 2 hari je la eh nak Ramadhan. Rase neves la plak I. =P Cam nak pegi masuk examination hall. Tapi betul la kan? Bulan Ramadhan kite diuji dengan kesabaran, kelaparan, kehausan, sume 'ke-fillintheblank-an' la~ Kne la persiapkan diri kite untuk hadapi ujian2 yang mungkin lebih banyak dr bulan2 lain. Same cm exam kan? Dekat2 nak exam, kite pulun bace buku, sampai xtido malam. Minum nescafe bercawan2 just to keep our eyes open. Huhuhu...good luck and selamat beramal la ye kawan2. May we make the best of the opportunity that's in front of us. ^-^
Akhir kate, saye ingin meminta maaf sekiranya ade buat salah dan silap, selamat berpuasa dan selamat beramal~
Monday, 25 June 2012
Ape nak buat?
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum~
So, semalam...saye telah belajar suatu yang sangat penting untuk kite terapkan dalam kehidupan seharian. Bincang2 tentang persediaan untuk menyambut kedatangan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak. Ape je persediaan kite untuk tingkatkan amalan2 serta beristiqamah dengan amalan2 tersebut dan macam2 lagi. Tapi yang paling terkesan di hati ni dalam perbincangan kitorg semalam is about akhlaq. Ape pemahaman kite ttg akhlaq ni? Saye xnak cerite tentang definisi akhlak ni. Sy just nak sentuh ttg aplikasi kite dalam hidup berkaitan dengan akhlak.
Bagaimana yang kite katekan seseorang itu berakhlak? Baik dengan orang yang baik dengan kite? Senyum kembali pada mereka yg senyum pada kita? Sheikh Abdul Nasir ade menyebut how his teacher explain to him about akhlaq.
"Akhlaq is when someone's bad to you but you're so good to them, somebody's rude to you but you're still respectful to them.."
Ape yang terlintas dalam fikiran kite bile dengar ayat kat atas? Rase susah? Xmampu? Cmne nak bersikap baik pada orang yang buat jahat kat kite? They deserve to get what they give to people. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Right?
Cmne baik bile orang buat jahat ngan kite? Bile orang marah kite, kite xmarah balik. Itukah? Mungkin. Tapi cukupkan dengan xmarah sahaja? Yang dalam fikiran kite? Mate kite? Mulut kite? Ape yang bermain dalam fikiran kite mase2 cmtu? Makin hamun? Cmne pandangan kite selepas org buat jahat kat kite? Kite jeling? Cmne sikap kite? Acuh xacuh nak layan? Semua tu pon kne jage sekali. Komponen yang paling basic yang perlu kite ade dulu is kesabaran. Sebelum kite dapat menerapkan konsep memberi seribu kebaikan kepade mereka yang berbuat jahat dgn kite, kite perlu tingkatkan tahap kesabaran kite. (Asyiqin, dgr tu! Sabar!)
Truthfully mmg susah nak aplikasikan bnde ni dalam kehidupan seharian. Especially mase tgh conflict atau ketegangan, mase berlalu sgt cepat smpi kite xsempat nak berfikir dulu sebelum kite bertindak dalam situasi tu. Sy amek contoh marah je la. Orang marah kat kite, die xsempat nak abes ckp, kite dh balah balik. In the heat of the moment la~ Bersabar, bersangka baik, beri kebaikan...memang susah tapi mari kite cube!
Jomm kite berusaha menjadi seorang muslim yang berakhlaq mulia! Sebagai persediaan bukan hanya utk bulan Ramadhan tapi sepanjang tahun~ Yosh! SEMANGAT! ^-^
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Digging digging..
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum~
Saye gembire~
Sebab dapat buku...
Ok tipu, ni bukan buku-buku saye.
But they are my dad's.
Suke bile bace2 and discover many things yang kite xtau.
I find it interesting. Kadang2 rase cm...
"Asyiqin, ini pon xtauu?"
"Asyiqin, bukan cmtu laaaa!!" =.="
"Ohhhhh, begitu rupenye~"
Tu yang rs lagi semangat nak cari tau tu. XD
Terime kasih juga kepada idol saye, Paaja sbb saye 'curi2' bace buku2 you. ahaha
Oh daddy, I rasmi dulu ye buku tu? Thanks~!
Friday, 25 May 2012
Changing places.
Bismillah~
Assalamualaikum...
Have you ever thought of changing places with another person? Haven't thought about it? But if you had, who would it be? Most probably someone who's living a better life than you're having now, right? Always wanting the thing we don't have, and taking for granted of the things we do have. Typical. Silly. Ungrateful.
How about changing places with the less fortunate? Who would want to change places if that's the case? Nobody would wish that. Right? But think about it once in a while. Putting ourselves in their shoes, the less fortunate. I've always been reminded of that. I thank that reminder of mine. =) It is only then that we feel blessed.
Right now, I feel like I'm living the life of another person. And that person is living mine. It's not necessarily bad, but it's weird. Weirdo Asyiqin~
Ok done.
[Edited]
I saw an episode of Glee (20) just now and it was exactly what I was talking about. They change characters, and it's funny. ahaha...weird~
[Edited]
I saw an episode of Glee (20) just now and it was exactly what I was talking about. They change characters, and it's funny. ahaha...weird~
Friday, 18 May 2012
Rindu...
Bismillah~
Assalamualaikum...
Rindunye nak menulis tapi tgh menghidap writer's block (perasan writer jap). Cannot think of anything to write. Orang kate hidup ni penuh dengan seni. Seni melukis, seni menulis, seni memasak, seni seni seni seni...sume la berkaitan dgn seni. Ade unsur2 kreativiti yang diperlukan dalam melakukan sesuatu. Menulis perlukan kreativiti, macam mane nak menarik pembaca utk teruskan pembacaan (ok, I dont have this). Melukis pon memang sah2 perlukan kreativiti, biar buruk asalkan kreatif...haha. Memasak pon same, perlukan kreativiti...kadang2 dah ikut recipe sebijik sebijun pon bleh jadi disaster, so di situlah perlunya seni mengalter! Ahaha...
***
Cannot wait to go back home for raya.
Ukrida cpt la tentukan tarikh balik...
Tick tock tick tock~
***
Maluuuu~ Baik sangaatt, I'm so ashamed.
You came to me in that hour of need. =')
Sunday, 13 May 2012
Berite gembire.
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum...
Asyiqin dapat berite gembire! I'm super excited with the news.
^__________________________^
So happy~! Nak senyum all day long. Even in my sleep. =P
Ok tu je.
Thursday, 10 May 2012
Don't give up.
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum~
Skrg pukul 5.49pagi. Ada kelas in a few hours. Rutin harian kami skrg. Alhamdulillah 2 minggu ni xberat sgt, just kelas. Asyiqin xde jadual sbnrnye. =.=" So, skrg ni jadi anak itik ikut blkg mak itik je. Org pegi kelas, Asyiqin pon ikut pegi kelas. Ahaha...Inisiatif mane Asyiqin?! Adoi.
Sbnrnye xnak ckp pasal tu pon.
Kadang2, kite ni lemah. Rase cm xkuat untuk hadapi ujian. Tak cukup kuat nak mengharungi ombak kehidupan. Hanya mampu terbuai2, tapi xmampu bergerak maju. It's like we're in a boat, a leaky boat. In the middle of the sea. Alone. Ombak memukul sampan, and we're moving up and down, up and down. Following the laws of physics. The longer we are in that boat, the more water seeps into our boat through the small hole. The more water, the more we sink. Unless! We row the boat. Even if water gets into the boat, at least we're heading towards somewhere. A destination. Our destination.
So, my point is...even if we feel we're not strong enough to go through the hardships, just don't give up. At least we're heading towards what we want.
So Asyiqin, don't give up! That good news is on the way. Maybe got caught up in a congestion or anything. Don't give up!
Assalamualaikum~
Skrg pukul 5.49pagi. Ada kelas in a few hours. Rutin harian kami skrg. Alhamdulillah 2 minggu ni xberat sgt, just kelas. Asyiqin xde jadual sbnrnye. =.=" So, skrg ni jadi anak itik ikut blkg mak itik je. Org pegi kelas, Asyiqin pon ikut pegi kelas. Ahaha...Inisiatif mane Asyiqin?! Adoi.
Sbnrnye xnak ckp pasal tu pon.
Kadang2, kite ni lemah. Rase cm xkuat untuk hadapi ujian. Tak cukup kuat nak mengharungi ombak kehidupan. Hanya mampu terbuai2, tapi xmampu bergerak maju. It's like we're in a boat, a leaky boat. In the middle of the sea. Alone. Ombak memukul sampan, and we're moving up and down, up and down. Following the laws of physics. The longer we are in that boat, the more water seeps into our boat through the small hole. The more water, the more we sink. Unless! We row the boat. Even if water gets into the boat, at least we're heading towards somewhere. A destination. Our destination.
So, my point is...even if we feel we're not strong enough to go through the hardships, just don't give up. At least we're heading towards what we want.
So Asyiqin, don't give up! That good news is on the way. Maybe got caught up in a congestion or anything. Don't give up!
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Think. Ponder.
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum...
I watched and listened to a video about fashion just now and alhamdulillah sangat banyak masukan yang saye dapat. Not just about physical hijab, but also about hijab hati. Menghijabkan fizikal is so much easier (not easy at all) than hijab terhadap hati. Hijab terhadap dengki, jealous, amarah, tidak puas hati dan segala macam perasaan and fikiran negatif yang ade dalam hati/minda kite. Satu statement yang sy rase mmg sangat2 benar is "our eyes are the source of all evil". Pemikiran jahat itu selalu timbul sebab ape yang kite nampak. Mmg undeniably manusia lebih biasa mencari kesalahan pada seseorang berbanding kebaikan. And ape yang membuka peluang untuk kite mencari kesalahan2 tu? Mata! Mata meliar, mencari ape yang salah, ape yang xbetul. Instead of admiring ape yang baik. Instead of mengambil yang jernih, kite menghina2kan yang keruh. Lebih buruk lagi, bile deria yang lain ikut same. Yang telinge dengar yang jahat saje, yang mulut ckp yang jahaaaat je. Malah disebarkan ke orang lain.
Allah perintahkan kite untuk tundukkan pandangan kite. Seperti dalam surah An-Nur ayat 30 dan 31. Ditujukan kepada lelaki dan perempuan, salah satu perintah Allah dalam ayat-ayat tersebut ialah untuk tundukkan pandangan. Banyak kebaikan yang bulih kite dapat, banyak juga kejahatan yang bulih kite elak dari menundukkan pandangan ni. Jage hati, jage mata, jage minda. Jage hati dari kehitaman sifat dengki, jealous, amarah, etc. Jage mata dari timbul perasaan2 yang xdiingini dan xseptutnye. Jaga minda dari pemikiran negatif.
Hijab hati tu mmg no doubt a very hard thing to do. Adalah lebih baik kalo hijab pada fizikal yakni berjilbab kalo diiringi dengan menghijabkan hati dr kejahatan2. It's a continuous struggle. Yes, it's a STRUGGLE. I know it's hard because I'm still fighting against it. It's even harder when you're too used to doing it. Some people know exactly the things they shouldn't be doing, but they do it anyway because they are too used to it and that the society accepts it. Some people are oblivious. Some people are not strong enough to act upon their beliefs that they need a push from the outside. An external drive. A support system.
So, we have to help each other, support one another in order to change for the better. Become each other's support system.
Ok, sorry but I'm not good at talking about this. I had so much to say but it's so hard to write it. So, I'm gonna stop writing and let the video do the talking.
p/s: this is more of a self-reminder.
Assalamualaikum...
I watched and listened to a video about fashion just now and alhamdulillah sangat banyak masukan yang saye dapat. Not just about physical hijab, but also about hijab hati. Menghijabkan fizikal is so much easier (not easy at all) than hijab terhadap hati. Hijab terhadap dengki, jealous, amarah, tidak puas hati dan segala macam perasaan and fikiran negatif yang ade dalam hati/minda kite. Satu statement yang sy rase mmg sangat2 benar is "our eyes are the source of all evil". Pemikiran jahat itu selalu timbul sebab ape yang kite nampak. Mmg undeniably manusia lebih biasa mencari kesalahan pada seseorang berbanding kebaikan. And ape yang membuka peluang untuk kite mencari kesalahan2 tu? Mata! Mata meliar, mencari ape yang salah, ape yang xbetul. Instead of admiring ape yang baik. Instead of mengambil yang jernih, kite menghina2kan yang keruh. Lebih buruk lagi, bile deria yang lain ikut same. Yang telinge dengar yang jahat saje, yang mulut ckp yang jahaaaat je. Malah disebarkan ke orang lain.
Allah perintahkan kite untuk tundukkan pandangan kite. Seperti dalam surah An-Nur ayat 30 dan 31. Ditujukan kepada lelaki dan perempuan, salah satu perintah Allah dalam ayat-ayat tersebut ialah untuk tundukkan pandangan. Banyak kebaikan yang bulih kite dapat, banyak juga kejahatan yang bulih kite elak dari menundukkan pandangan ni. Jage hati, jage mata, jage minda. Jage hati dari kehitaman sifat dengki, jealous, amarah, etc. Jage mata dari timbul perasaan2 yang xdiingini dan xseptutnye. Jaga minda dari pemikiran negatif.
Hijab hati tu mmg no doubt a very hard thing to do. Adalah lebih baik kalo hijab pada fizikal yakni berjilbab kalo diiringi dengan menghijabkan hati dr kejahatan2. It's a continuous struggle. Yes, it's a STRUGGLE. I know it's hard because I'm still fighting against it. It's even harder when you're too used to doing it. Some people know exactly the things they shouldn't be doing, but they do it anyway because they are too used to it and that the society accepts it. Some people are oblivious. Some people are not strong enough to act upon their beliefs that they need a push from the outside. An external drive. A support system.
Ok, sorry but I'm not good at talking about this. I had so much to say but it's so hard to write it. So, I'm gonna stop writing and let the video do the talking.
p/s: this is more of a self-reminder.
Saturday, 21 April 2012
Golden Time!
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum...
I'm here in my classroom. Waiting for the lecturer to arrive. The class should have started an hour and five minutes ago. Time. is gold. I was thinking to myself, what if we can take time with our hands and accumulate all the time we have to use it on another day, that would be wonderful. Like people who work, they have annual leave. More or less a fortnight per annum. (correct me if I'm wrong, I xkeje lg...so xtau pape). They can use the annual leave anytime they want but only within the year. So, people who haven't used their annual leave, they can use it all on one go and have a long leave before the year ends. Like a 2-week leave! Huaaa...syok! (Asyiqin main hentam je ni, ntah btul ntah tidak agaknye)
So, like what I was thinking just now. What if...for example, we have nothing to do for the rest of the day, too bored to do anything but it's still 12 o'clock. The sun is still high above our heads. You only think of sleeping but you can't...unless the sky is dark. So, 7 hours of not knowing what to do. Excluding the things a muslim has to do in those hours. 7 hours of wasting time. If you can take that time and put it in a jar. Like collecting coins. But instead of coins, we collect time. Only to use it upon emergencies. Like during exam week. 24 hours seems like 24 minutes. Never seem to have enough time to study. What if we can topup the hours in a day using the time we've collected? I wonder how that goes.
But, this is totally absurd. That is totally impossible. Time and tide waits for no man. No one is powerful enough to stop time. Nobody in this world is capable of doing such a thing. Nobody!
Time flies. And those who won't fly away together with time, stay in the past and are at lost.
"We still have time". The same thing we tell ourselves over and over again. But is it true?
Assalamualaikum...
I'm here in my classroom. Waiting for the lecturer to arrive. The class should have started an hour and five minutes ago. Time. is gold. I was thinking to myself, what if we can take time with our hands and accumulate all the time we have to use it on another day, that would be wonderful. Like people who work, they have annual leave. More or less a fortnight per annum. (correct me if I'm wrong, I xkeje lg...so xtau pape). They can use the annual leave anytime they want but only within the year. So, people who haven't used their annual leave, they can use it all on one go and have a long leave before the year ends. Like a 2-week leave! Huaaa...syok! (Asyiqin main hentam je ni, ntah btul ntah tidak agaknye)
So, like what I was thinking just now. What if...for example, we have nothing to do for the rest of the day, too bored to do anything but it's still 12 o'clock. The sun is still high above our heads. You only think of sleeping but you can't...unless the sky is dark. So, 7 hours of not knowing what to do. Excluding the things a muslim has to do in those hours. 7 hours of wasting time. If you can take that time and put it in a jar. Like collecting coins. But instead of coins, we collect time. Only to use it upon emergencies. Like during exam week. 24 hours seems like 24 minutes. Never seem to have enough time to study. What if we can topup the hours in a day using the time we've collected? I wonder how that goes.
But, this is totally absurd. That is totally impossible. Time and tide waits for no man. No one is powerful enough to stop time. Nobody in this world is capable of doing such a thing. Nobody!
Time flies. And those who won't fly away together with time, stay in the past and are at lost.
"We still have time". The same thing we tell ourselves over and over again. But is it true?
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Peluang
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum...
Peluang. Chance. Apakah yang penting sangat dengan peluang ni? Ape yang best sangat dgn peluang ni? Ape manfaat peluang ni? Penting, best, byk manfaatnye! Tidak terexplain la kalo nak explain. Bayangkan sahaje lah, Allah memberi peluang kepada hamba-Nya every second of every day kite hidup, bernafas. Allah beri kite mase, peluang setiap hari untuk bertaubat. Even kite buat kesalahan yang sama, pintu taubat sentiase terbuka luas untuk kita.
Jadi manusia. Hamba kepada Allah. Layakkah kita menarik peluang manusia yang lain? Apa jenis peluang pon. Layakkan kita untuk tidak memberi peluang pada makhluk-Nya yang lain? Ape kelayakan kita untuk menarik peluang manusia lain sedangkan peluang tersebut bukan milik kita untuk ditarik? Berilah peluang kepada orang lain. Berilah kesempatan untuk mereka melakukan kesalahan dan menyedarinya. Kite semua melakukan kesilapan. Kite sume manusia biasa. Kite sendiri buat kesilapan, secara sedar atau tidak sedar. Mungkin tanpa sedar kite dh lakukan kesilapan, kawan kite beri peluang but kite xnmpk. But when kawan kite buat bnde yang same, dihukum pula. Xde keseimbangan kan kalo cmtu?
Yang berpeluang itu kne la menggunakan peluang tersebut sebaiknya. Jangan disia-siakan peluang yang ada. Peluang yang diberi bukan tiket utk membuat lagi kesilapan yang jelas itu suatu kesilapan. Tapi peluang utk menyedari kesilapan. Peluang untuk membaiki diri, peluang untuk menjadi lebih baik.
Ok, Asyiqin dh mule merapik. Percubaan membuka mata untuk study tidak berjaye, maka menulis blog. Di kala minda masih mamai, bantal memanggil2, katil kelihatan lebih empuk dan besar dan selesa. Ah, temptations! Sungguh banyak apabila mendekati ujian. ='(
*xnak mimpi ngeri lagii~!*
Assalamualaikum...
Peluang. Chance. Apakah yang penting sangat dengan peluang ni? Ape yang best sangat dgn peluang ni? Ape manfaat peluang ni? Penting, best, byk manfaatnye! Tidak terexplain la kalo nak explain. Bayangkan sahaje lah, Allah memberi peluang kepada hamba-Nya every second of every day kite hidup, bernafas. Allah beri kite mase, peluang setiap hari untuk bertaubat. Even kite buat kesalahan yang sama, pintu taubat sentiase terbuka luas untuk kita.
Jadi manusia. Hamba kepada Allah. Layakkah kita menarik peluang manusia yang lain? Apa jenis peluang pon. Layakkan kita untuk tidak memberi peluang pada makhluk-Nya yang lain? Ape kelayakan kita untuk menarik peluang manusia lain sedangkan peluang tersebut bukan milik kita untuk ditarik? Berilah peluang kepada orang lain. Berilah kesempatan untuk mereka melakukan kesalahan dan menyedarinya. Kite semua melakukan kesilapan. Kite sume manusia biasa. Kite sendiri buat kesilapan, secara sedar atau tidak sedar. Mungkin tanpa sedar kite dh lakukan kesilapan, kawan kite beri peluang but kite xnmpk. But when kawan kite buat bnde yang same, dihukum pula. Xde keseimbangan kan kalo cmtu?
Yang berpeluang itu kne la menggunakan peluang tersebut sebaiknya. Jangan disia-siakan peluang yang ada. Peluang yang diberi bukan tiket utk membuat lagi kesilapan yang jelas itu suatu kesilapan. Tapi peluang utk menyedari kesilapan. Peluang untuk membaiki diri, peluang untuk menjadi lebih baik.
Ok, Asyiqin dh mule merapik. Percubaan membuka mata untuk study tidak berjaye, maka menulis blog. Di kala minda masih mamai, bantal memanggil2, katil kelihatan lebih empuk dan besar dan selesa. Ah, temptations! Sungguh banyak apabila mendekati ujian. ='(
*xnak mimpi ngeri lagii~!*
Saturday, 14 April 2012
Guilty as charged.
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum...
I now realize that I need to rinse, wash, spin and dry my heart. And in the process, I have to use a very strong detergent and a concentrated bleach. To wash off all the stains. To drain out all the dirtiness. To whiten the unclean. To freshen the stink. To sweeten the unpleasant.
The question is, is it even possible? If I could rip my heart out and wash it thoroughly using a washing machine and put it back in place..a clean and white heart, I would. But that is beyond possible.
So, I have to find another way. What is the other way? I want to know. I see glimpses of it every now and then, but why does it seem so far away? The moment I see the way, it disappears. Even if it stayed, I still couldn't reach it. There are always obstacles, things hindering me from making it till the end. I tried being strong, tried not to fall into 'traps' along the way, walk cautiously with every step I take...but in the end of the day, the efforts and struggles seem so useless. It's like I can't move on. Dwelling on the past. It's funny that I can dwell on the past when in fact I have very short memory span. It's too funny. I just don't understand my brain. I really don't. The things I want to forget love to linger in my head and the things I desperately want to remember just love to leave my brain.
Maybe I should rinse, wash, spin and dry my brain as well. It seems to be the source of all the problems. Either because I forget things, or because I remember things. Forgetting and remembering is the brain's job right? Hurm~ Making mistakes without realizing it. Hurting people without knowing it. Saying the wrong things without intending to. Yes, we can control what we say, do, think but I believe that'll take a lot of energy from your body. And you wont last half a day. At least I won't. But I have to try, right? For the sake of peace. My peace and other people's peace. And the world's!
I'm a victim of my own mind. And other people are the victims of my wrongdoings. I need somebody to shut off my brain and turn on my heart. Please and thank you~
Assalamualaikum...
I now realize that I need to rinse, wash, spin and dry my heart. And in the process, I have to use a very strong detergent and a concentrated bleach. To wash off all the stains. To drain out all the dirtiness. To whiten the unclean. To freshen the stink. To sweeten the unpleasant.
As white as snow.
So, I have to find another way. What is the other way? I want to know. I see glimpses of it every now and then, but why does it seem so far away? The moment I see the way, it disappears. Even if it stayed, I still couldn't reach it. There are always obstacles, things hindering me from making it till the end. I tried being strong, tried not to fall into 'traps' along the way, walk cautiously with every step I take...but in the end of the day, the efforts and struggles seem so useless. It's like I can't move on. Dwelling on the past. It's funny that I can dwell on the past when in fact I have very short memory span. It's too funny. I just don't understand my brain. I really don't. The things I want to forget love to linger in my head and the things I desperately want to remember just love to leave my brain.
Maybe I should rinse, wash, spin and dry my brain as well. It seems to be the source of all the problems. Either because I forget things, or because I remember things. Forgetting and remembering is the brain's job right? Hurm~ Making mistakes without realizing it. Hurting people without knowing it. Saying the wrong things without intending to. Yes, we can control what we say, do, think but I believe that'll take a lot of energy from your body. And you wont last half a day. At least I won't. But I have to try, right? For the sake of peace. My peace and other people's peace. And the world's!
I'm a victim of my own mind. And other people are the victims of my wrongdoings. I need somebody to shut off my brain and turn on my heart. Please and thank you~
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